Someone Like You
by Luxor Nautalis
Summary: After eighteen months alone, Alice finally finds her way to Alaska, and back to her heart. What she finds, however, might just break her.


**Disclaimer;** I do not own Resident Evil, their characters (though I wish I owned Claire...); their plot, theme or names, and I do not claim ownership to them. Nor do I claim ownership to "Someone like you" or Buffy the Vampire Slayer (though I wish I owned Buffy too), which some lines were taken from (Season Three, Episode 20 "The Prom") However, I DO claim ownership to my writing, so please don't steal =)

**Authors Note:** This is a short songfic using the song "Someone Like You" by Adele. First off, lemme say that I was _super _excited about writing this. I've been playing with this idea in my head for a while, ever since listening to this song, and I'm really pleased with how it turned out. So, put the song on a loop, and read away. Enjoy, and don't forget...reviews make me happier than cookies make Santa.

**Rating;** T for some language.

**Pair;** Alice x Claire

_Alice took a deep, shaky breath, steadying herself even as Claire studied her with intent. The redhead's head was tilted ever-so-slightly to the side, and the blond tried to keep her face expressionless. It wasn't her face she needed to worry about. Claire could read her like a book just by looking in her eyes. She could stare at her face for hours and never be able to figure out what lurked beneath, but one look in her blue eyes, and the younger woman had her figured out. Now was no different. _

_"What's with the dire?" Claire asked, the skin between her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. _

_"It's, uh...It's nothing," the blond answered after a few hesitant seconds, her eyes casting to the ground to prevent any further reading. _

_"No, you have 'something' face," the redhead persisted, not willing to give up on the issue. Alice sighed in defeat, turning her back to the younger woman. She was instantly grateful for the slight distance away from the convoy, but now just wasn't the time to break the news. _

_"I think we need to talk. But, not now...not here." Her words were hesitant, and they instantly put Claire on guard. _

_"No. No, if you have something to say, then say it." Alice was silent. "Alice, drop the cryptic. You're scaring me." The blond could tell from the other woman's voice that her words were true, and she knew she couldn't draw it out any longer. Turning back toward Claire, she took a deep breath and spoke, softly. _

_"I've been thinking...about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like 'us'...you and me being together...is unfair to you." Claire was silent, but Alice could tell it was from shock. She decided to continue, before the redhead snapped out of it. "You deserve more. You deserve something outside of _demons _and _darkness_." The words were meant as metaphors, but Claire didn't need an explanation. They'd already had the 'I'm not safe' talk, and the redhead knew exactly what the bio-weapon thought about herself. She _was_ a demon, even if it wasn't by her own design. "I mean, you should be with someone who can take you into the light." Another metaphor. _

_Claire moved slowly forward, her face set in determination. "I don't care about that." She didn't even want to process where Alice's words might be leading. _

_"You will." The words were barely a whisper, but Claire could just make them out. "And children."_

_"Children? Can you say 'jumping the gun'? I killed my goldfish," the redhead exclaimed, though she had to admit that the idea of children had passed her mind a time or two. Maybe in another life, she would have loved to be a mother. In this one, all she wanted was Alice. _

_"Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Claire. Before you know it, you'll want it all. A normal life-" Before she could continue, the redhead cut her off. _

_"I'll never have a normal life," she stated bluntly, pointing out the obvious. _

_"You're right. You'll always live in this dangerous world. But that's all the more reason you should have a real relationship instead of this... this freak show." A look of hurt passed across the younger woman's face, and Alice immediatly regretted the words. But, she still felt it was true. The last thing Claire needed in her already hectic life was to be shacked up with a freak, someone unworthy. "I didn't mean that," she said softly, though she knew she did. _

_Claire moved, brushing past the blond to head back toward the convoy. "I'm gonna go." Alice reached out a hand to gently pull her to a stop and the redhead turned almost reluctantly to face her. _

_"I'm sorry...Claire. You know how much I love you. It kills me to say this," Alice began, every ounce of her own pain reflected in her voice. _

_"Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You _think _I haven't _thought _about this?" Claire said indignantly, waving a hand dramatically. Her voice held the distinct edge of borderline panic._

_"Have you? Rationally?" The words were like a slap in the redhead's face, and she was immediately on the offensive. _

_"No." She turned away, as if to leave, but only after a second of hesitation she turned back. "No, of course not, I'm just some swinny little schoolgirl, right?" _

_"I'm _trying _to do what's right here, okay," Alice paused, the words spoken with intensity. "I'm trying to think with my _head _instead of my _heart_."_

_"_Heart_? You have a _heart_? Is it even _beating_?" Her comment had obviously hurt Alice, and the blond shook her head in the slightest, the tawny locks on her head twitching just a bit. _

_"Don't." _

_"Don't what? Don't _love _you? I'm sorry, you know what... I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm _never _gonna change. I _can't _change." They passed a few moments in silence, Alice's eyes casted to the desert ground while she studied the blond intently. "I want my life to be with you." She wanted to scream, to rage, but all she could do was force back tears._

_Alice took a deep, laborious breath, swallowing the lump in her throat and forcing the words she knew she had to speak from her mouth. She lifted her eyes, green steadfastly meeting blue, and spoke softly, intensely. "I don't." It seemed as if her heart broke with those words. Alice's did too, but it was something she had to do. It was the only way Claire would understand..._

_"You don't wanna be with me?" Claire asked quietly. Alice just lowered her eyes. She didn't trust herself to speak because she feared that, if she did, she would take it all back. Pull Claire into her arms, apologize with kisses and tell her she hadn't meant a word. "I _can't _believe you're breaking up with me." Alice turned her gaze away before looking back at the redhead._

_"Look, it doesn't mean that I don't-" Claire turned away from her, and Alice fell silent. A few moments passed before the redhead turned back around, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Those tears tore at the blonds' heart, but she forced herself to be strong. _

_"How am I supposed to stay away from you?" She spoke with such helplessness that Alice felt the sting of tears behind her own eyes. Quickly, she casted her eyes to the ground and blinked them away, unable to let the redhead see them. After a few moments of strengthening her resolve, forcing an emotionless mask onto her angelic face. _

_"I'm leaving. After Vegas...If we survive, I'll go." Her voice was set with steely resolve, but her eyes couldn't look into Claire's. The younger woman would see..._

_"Where?" It was a whisper, barely mumbled. But, in the dead silence of the desert, Alice heard her perfectly. _

_"I don't know." There was a long period of silence between them, and when Alice finally looked up, Claire wore a desolate expression. _

_"Is this really happening?" She looked to Alice for the answer...and all the woman did was look back. _

The shadows of the forest caressed her, enclosing her in its protective cocoon and hiding her from sight. She didn't know how long she stayed there, staring at the cabin door, waiting...She didn't know, and it didn't matter. The sun had risen a few hours ago, and it remained silent, still. She didn't even know why she waited. All it took was for her to walk up the steps, knock on the door and wait. Wait for her to appear.

But she waited, and she didn't know why. She tried to blame it on the need to just _see _her, to look at her face and see what was there. If she saw happiness, she would leave. If she saw grief, she wouldn't. At least, she told herself that. Inside her mind, inside her heart, she knew this wasn't the _real _reason she waited. Neither was the fear clawing in her gut. The fear that Claire wouldn't want to see her. It was something else...something she couldn't understand or even indentify. So she waited, waited for the door to open, and the woman to step out.

Eighteen months. Eighteen months since the last time she had looked into Claire's sparkling green eyes. Eighteen months since she had held the redhead in her arms, and kissed her perfect skin. Eighteen months since she had seen her smile, or heard her laugh. Eighteen months, but she was finally home. Someone wise once said 'home is where the heart is', and her heart was here; In Alaska. With Claire.

After eighteen months of fighting, eighteen long months of battling Umbrella and searching for survivors, she was finally here. She was here, and she had done it. Done everything she had sought out to do. Wesker was dead, and with him, Umbrella's will. Without their Chairman to direct them, taking out the rest of the underground facilities had been a walk in the park. They were all destroyed. With the serum she had procured from her own blood, Umbrella was not necessary anymore, and she had made sure no more evil would come from the vile corporation.

It had taken her three long months to get to Alaska. It had taken her a month longer to find Arcadia, and a week to find Claire. Time...time perhaps better spent looking for survivors, or thinning the endless numbers of undead. Perhaps the time could have been better spent by someone else's standards, but not her own. By her own standards, this was just where she needed to be. She needed to be here, with Claire, thought she wasn't actually _with _her. No, she was hiding in the shadows, waiting. Waiting when all she wanted to do was clear those steps in a single bound, pound on the door until her redhead appeared, and take her in her arms. But, she waited. Her mind told her to wait, even though her body screamed against it.

While she waited, she thought. Thought about everything she had been through. Thought about everything _they _had been through. She thought about their first kiss, and the way it had left her breathless and her knees weak. She thought about the first time she had held Claire while the redhead slept, just watching the calm rise and fall of her chest and the serene look on her oh-so-perfect face. She thought about the first time she had told the younger woman she loved her, and the first time Claire had said it back.

But, more importantly, she thought about their first, and last, fight. The words exchanged most of them without real meaning or intent. The look of hurt that flashed across Claire's face as she said something she couldn't mean even if she had wanted to, and she defiantly didn't want to. The way Claire had whispered her name, begging, pleading, imploring her to take back the words and just go back to the way thing were. She thought of the way Claire's hand lingered on her arm in comfort, after everything they had said, as they both watched Carlos speed to his death.

She thought, and waited, and she didn't know why.

_I heard that you're settled down,_

_That you found a guy and you're married now,_

_I heard that your dreams came true,_

_Guess he gave you things I didn't give to you,_

_Old friend, why are you so shy?_

_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light._

The door opened, and she stepped out. A heavenly beam of light caressed her pale, flawless skin, like some sign from God. She was an angel, even now. No, not an angel. An angel couldn't possibly be so beautiful. She _was _God.

The beautiful red tresses Alice loved so much were longer, but the ends were trimmed into a neat, straight line. There was a slight blush to her cheeks, giving her an even greater appeal, but everything else was the same. The green eyes she had spent seconds, minutes, hours looking into were as sharp and clear as always. Her lips were as perfectly luscious, slightly parted and as kissable as always. Her arms, scantily covered even in the cold, were as muscular and delicate...as always. Little had changed, but Claire was more beautiful now than she could ever be in her memories.

The woman took a few steps onto the porch, the soles of her boots clapping against the wood boards beneath them. The steps were slow, deliberate, and Alice's breath caught in her throat just watching the woman move. Move with such grace and poise, such class and complete allure. Alice wanted more than anything to run forward at that moment, to sweep the redhead into her arms and kiss her until they were both breathless. But she didn't. Her mind still battled her body, and her mind was still winning.

Claire slowly drifted to the railing of the porch, where she leaned against it, bracing her delicate weight on her forearms. Her hands clasped lightly in front of her, and the redhead took to studying something Alice couldn't see. She wasn't interested in studying anything but Claire anyway. She didn't know how long she crouched in the underbrush, watching, but she didn't care. Her eyes took in every detail, refreshing every almost-faded image in her mind with a new, perfect composition of the woman she loved. She just watched.

She didn't know how long she crouched in the underbrush, watching, and she didn't know how long Claire stood there, watching. But, the reason her mind still held power over her body was soon to be revealed.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,_

_I had hoped you'd see my face,_

_And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over, _

The door opened once more, revealing a burly man probably a few years older than the redhead herself. He was tall, easily taller than the redhead, and his body was bulky, though Alice was sure it wasn't from fat. Underneath the crème colored turtle-neck sweater he wore, she could see the muscle. His hair was dark, shaggy but not incredibly long, and his lips were curled into a slight smile.

Alice felt apprehension set in as the man walked toward the redhead, his steps silent and unhurried, as if he intended to sneak up on her. And indeed he did. His arms curled around Claire's waist, the woman starting from the unexpected contact before a smile curved her own lips and she leaned into the embrace. He rested his chin lightly on the redhead's shoulder, and her hands lifted from the boards to rest atop his own. Alice clenched her eyes shut, remembering all the times she had held Claire in that exact same position, but she was soon distracted.

Even with her heightened hearing, she couldn't hear the words the man mumbled in Claire's ear, or the ones she said back. She couldn't hear what he said that was so funny, but she _could _hear the redhead's exuberant laughter. Instantly, Claire's face was transformed, going from serene and absentminded to amused. Little laugh lines appeared on the sides of her delicately curved lips, just the sight of them making Alice's breath catch in her throat.

She stayed long enough to see the woman turn in the man's arms, but she didn't stay long enough to see anything after that. She didn't want to see the kiss they shared, a lover's version of 'good morning'. She didn't want to see the love reflected in his eyes, or the love reflected back in her own. She didn't want to see any of it. She had waited, her mind had won, and she had found out why. Why she had been so insistent on watching when she wanted to be acting.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you,_

_I wish nothing but the best for you, too,_

_Don't forget me, I beg,_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead,"_

_Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah, _

She wanted to be angry. She wanted to run back to the cabin and rip Claire from his arms. She wanted to plant a bullet in between his eyes, just after telling him what a big mistake he had made. She wanted to, but she didn't. She wanted to be angry, but she couldn't. Her mind, you see, was still winning, and she couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing anymore.

After all, Claire was only doing what she had asked of her. She was moving on, finding something normal and sturdy, something natural. She wanted that for Claire. She wanted the redhead to have a normal, happy life, filled with love and happiness and children. She couldn't be angry at the redhead for doing what she had asked, for doing what was best for her, even if it left a hole in her chest where her heart should have been.

She hadn't had a heart for a long time...She had lost it to Claire, and the redhead held it still. She had left it behind, with the woman she loved.

Besides, it was for the better. The last thing Claire needed in her life was Alice. After all, she was a walking plague. Everywhere she went, everybody she came in contact with died. She was a disease, more potent and contagious than the T-virus. At least the T-virus didn't wear the face of a woman. It didn't walk, talk and breathe like a woman. Claire didn't need disease in her life; she had lived with it for far too long already. No, what she needed was the simplicity of waking up to someone who could look back at her without guilt and self-hate, or the easiness of walking on the beach holding hands as the water washed around her ankles. She deserved normalcy.

And now she had it.

Alice knew what real love was...she felt it now. Even as her steps slowed, and she looked back in the direction of the long-gone cabin, she felt nothing but real love. Because, real love was knowing when to let go. It was putting the one you loved above yourself, and your own self-wants. Alice did that now. She wanted nothing more than the redhead to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. She wanted nothing more than for Claire to have a normal life, have kids and grow old with someone who could love her with a purity she would never have. She would walk away, even thought it was killing her, because Claire was happy, and that was all she wanted.

_"I used to think that I survived to help people, to keep them alive and safe. It was the only thing that kept me going, helping people. But now I know...I only survived this long so I could belong to you."_

Claire's words repeated themselves in her mind, over and over again, and the brunette's eyes clenched shut. _And I survived to let you go,_ she thought, the words lacking the bitterness she had come to expect from herself. Instead, there was nothing but heartache. Pain in an organ that didn't even beat within her chest anymore. Claire had been right. Her heart wasn't beating. It hadn't been beating until she had walked into Claire's life, and it had stopped the second she walked out again.

_You know how the time flies,_

_Only yesterday was the time of our lives,_

_We were born and raised in a summer haze,_

_Bound by the surprise of our glory days, _

"Hey." The voice behind her was intimately familiar, and Alice's breath caught in her throat. The word was spoken with hesitancy, as if its owner was unsure what to expect, and no recognition lingered there. She didn't turn, she couldn't, no matter how much she wanted to look at face to which that voice belonged. She was simply froze, unmoving, as if she hoped that, if she stayed still enough, if she pretended she wasn't there, the voice, and it's owner, would go away. But they didn't.

"Hey, are you okay?" The voice asked again, this time holding a slight edge of caution, and Alice could swear she heard the wisp of metal. She flinched, in the slightest, silently willing the voice's owner to do it, to aim that firearm straight at her head and pull the trigger, so she wouldn't have to do it herself. It would be easier this way, being mistaken as an unfriendly, or an infected, shot down by someone she loved.

But the shot never came. She waited and waited, but it never came. The other simply stood, still behind her, waiting as well. Alice pulled in a deep breath, slowly, her chest rising in the slightest to accommodate the increase in lung capacity. Even more slowly, she turned, settling her eyes on the other after just a moment. Her eyes moved to the handgun clutched firmly in a small, delicate hand, but only a second passed before it fell with a muted thud to the leaf-covered ground, fingers slackened by shock.

A sharp gasp followed, and the brunette lifted her blue gaze to meet the others, even as her mouth went slack from shock and her eyes grew wide. "Alice." The word was spoken as a breathless whisper, almost reverently, but dreamily, as if her companion expected the woman before her to be a wraith, a ghost, nothing more than a cruel mind trick. And indeed it seemed that way. They stared at one another in complete silence, each studying the other with intensity.

Alice let the smallest of smiles curve only the very corners of her lips, and her gaze softened, the icebergs of her eyes melting into nothing more than calming pools. "Hello Kmart," the brunette whispered just as softly.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,_

_I had hoped you'd see my face,_

_And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,_

Only a few more seconds passed before Alice felt the entire weight of a now-very fit looking teenage girl hurl herself into her arms, and she gave into the embrace without a second thought. Small arms snaked around her waist, clinging with every ounce of strength she could possess, and her head, blond hair, black eyeliner and all, rested sturdily on her chest. Alice idly wondered if the teen noticed the lack of a pulse, even as her own arms reached up to envelop the girl in her protective embrace, curling around Kmart's neck. She held the girl with much less force, but no less intensely, and buried her head in the girls blond locks.

Her eyes closed against her will, and she felt the sting of tears as the breath she didn't even know she had been holding was released in the form of a soft, heartbroken sigh. She took a moment, just a moment more to revel in the feel of the teenager in her arms, to revel in the feel of real human contact for the first time in many many long months. And, for the first time in many, many long months, she let herself _feel_.

"I missed you," the teen mumbled against her chest, her arms clenching, if possible, tighter around the brunette's waist. Alice's smile widened in the slightest, and she, too, tightened her hold.

"I missed you too, kid," she said in return, lifting her head from the teenager's hair. Kmart seemed to take this as an unspoken signal to break the hug, and she pulled away. Typically, being called 'kid' would get on her last nerve, but at the moment she was just so happy Alice was back, she would have let the brunette call her anything.

"Your hair...you changed it," she said after a second, studying the woman's now dark locks. "I like it."

Alice couldn't help a small chuckle, shaking her head at the girl's criticism. "Thanks," she said dryly, easily falling into her old patterns of teasing the girl, even when she knew she shouldn't.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you come back sooner?" the teen questioned, not straying too far from the woman, as if she would dissolve any second.

"I've been taking down Umbrella. They're gone..." The words seemed to shock the teenager, but that shock was mixed with something else. It wasn't until the girl once more launched herself into her arms that she realized what it was.

"That's amazing, Alice! Now you can finally come live with us! Oh, you'll love it here! It's so great! There's a beach where we swim, and we have showers and actual food and movies!" The teen exclaimed excitedly, going off in a typical Kmart fashion. No matter how hard Alice tried to get a word in, she couldn't, so she simply stayed silent, with a small smile on her lips, and waited for the teen to finish her rant. "Claire taught me how to drive, and I have my own car and-" It was then that Kmart realized something, much later than Alice did.

"Oh my God, Claire!" She shouted as realization dawned on her. Alice inwardly winced at the sound of the name, but her face was as impassive as always as she silently slipped her mask in place. "We have to tell her you're back!" At that, Kmart grabbed her hand and began tugging her in an uncertain direction, only getting a few steps before Alice stopped her and pulled her hand away.

The teen looked back at her with a confused expression, the skin between her eyes furrowing in the slightest. She had defiantly been hanging around the redhead for far too long...she did too many things like her. "What's wrong?" The girl asked, turning back toward the woman.

"I...I already saw her." It wasn't a lie...she had seen Claire. Claire just hadn't seen her. "I...I saw...them." The last word was spoken as barely a whisper, and the teenager was immediately confused.

"Them?" She asked, but the woman wasn't going to elaborate. It took many moments for her to realize what Alice was talking about, and many more for her to figure out what was wrong with that. And then it hit her...Alice didn't _know_. "No, Alice, its not-"

Before she could finish speaking the words she didn't want to hear, Alice cut her off with a small, sad smile. "It was good seeing you again, kid," she mumbled, letting her eyes linger on the teenager's face before she turned.

"Alice! What does that mean? Where...where are you going?" The girl's voice was borderline panic now, but Alice didn't turn around. Instead, she looked back at the girl, and smiled again.

"I'm gonna miss you, K." With that, Alice was gone, disappearing into the shadows just as quickly as she had appeared. Kmart spent a few minutes in shell-shocked silence before she even thought about doing anything.

"No, Alice! Wait!" But it was too late. The brunette was already gone. Kmart did the first thing she could think of. She took off running, not in the direction Alice had taken, but in the direction of Claire's cabin.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you,_

_I wish nothing but the best for you, too,_

_Don't forget me, I beg,_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead," _

"Claire! Claire!" The teenager's panicked voice cut her laughter short, and the redhead sprung into action in an instant. She stood from the porch swing, the man at her side forgotten. She jumped the small flight of steps in one bound, landing fluidly on the ground below. She only got a few more steps before the girl was in her arms, gasping and shouting incoherently, tears flowing freely from her eyes.

"K! K!" The redhead called, shaking the girl in the slightest. "Calm down! I can't understand what you're saying! What happened?" She practically shouted, panic clear in her own voice now. The infected had reached Alaska, Umbrella had come for them, someone was dead...these were just a few thoughts that ran through Claire's head, even as the teenager tried to pull herself together long enough to form coherent words.

"Alice," she said, immediately catching Claire's attention. But, the girl erupted into another sob, and the redhead's patience grew thin. She shook Kmart again, more viciously this time, not even bothering to heed the calming words of the man who had come to stand beside her.

"What, Kmart. What about Alice?" Nothing but more sobs. "What about Alice!" She shook the girl again, shaking off the firm hand on her arm and the deep voice telling her to stop. She didn't care about any of it. Hell, she didn't even care that her fingers were digging into the teenager's arms hard enough to leave bruises, or that the girl was in hysterics. She only cared about Alice, and what Kmart's break down had to do with her.

"She...she was here. But she saw you with him and she left." The girl didn't need to explain who 'he' was, and she loosened her hold on the girl in the slightest. Her eyes bored into Kmart's red, puffy ones, and the teen held her eyes through her tears.

"Where, K. Where did she go?" Her voice was intense, leaving no room for argument or sobs or delay. Claire needed an answer, and she needed it now, before Alice was too far away...Kmart seemed to notice this and answered immediately.

"I don't know. She didn't say, but she was heading for the south beach." Claire didn't waste any more time. She released her grip on the girl and took off running, completely ignoring the sounds of crying and the shouts for her to stop fading behind her.

She didn't know how far she had to run or even if the woman was still headed in that direction, but she had to try. Desperation deeper than anything she had ever known grew inside of her. It fueled her steps, added to her speed, and strengthened her resolve.

She didn't know how far she ran, or how long. She only knew the need for breath was too much, and she had to stop. As she slowed, her chest rising and falling rapidly, she knew she had lost it. She had lost her one chance to make everything right, to have Alice back in her arms again and pull her close. She had lost the chance to feel her lover's kiss and touch, and it was all she had dreamed about for months. She had lost it.

"Alice," she whispered softly, forcing her breathing to regulate and her speeding pulse to calm. But her only answer was the forest. The sounds of birds singing happily and crickets chirping incessantly made her sick. She didn't want birds and crickets. She wanted to hear Alice's voice, saying her name and telling her she loved her.

But Alice was gone.

The sound of a gunshot snapped her out of her reverie, and Claire looked around frantically. It was closer than she thought, and directly ahead of her. A gunshot...in an infection free zone...in the direction Alice had been taking..._No...No! _Claire's thoughts were in turmoil as she once more shot forward, hoping, praying that she wasn't too late. _God, no. Please don't let me be too late..._

_Nothing compares,_

_No worries or cares,_

_Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,_

_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

The woods had never been so stifling. Before the world had ended, the woods had been one of her favorite places. She could walk the endless trails for hours, smelling in the musty scent of decomposing leaves, damp soil and wood. Nothing smelled more natural than the woods. After the apocalypse, a stroll in the woods had been the last thing on her mind, even if there _had _been woods around to stroll in. Alaska, though, had new life. She could actually take time to take in the scents and sounds again, to become one with the forest, and have it become one with her.

In that moment, she didn't hate anything more than the woods. She wanted to rip them apart, to tear each branch from every tree, and pull every tree up by its roots. She wanted to watch the forest burn and wither, and laugh while it did. She wanted it gone...and she wanted the desert. In the desert, she had missed the forest, but in the forest, she missed the desert. Because in the desert, she had Claire. In the desert, she had a reason to live and breathe. In the forest, _he _had Claire. In the forest, she had nothing.

Nothing but the pistols at her side, and a bullet.

Without a second thought, she lifted the Smith and Wesson revolver from its holster. The bullet chamber had already been checked a dozen times, and she knew for certain that it was full, so she wasn't sure why she looked at it now. Maybe it was because she wanted to get a look at the bullet that would end her pathetic existence, or maybe it was some sick kind of pleasure. Russian Roulette at its finest. Take all but one bullet out, spin the chamber and pull the trigger until she hit the jackpot. She wasn't sure why she did it, she just did.

Alice was no coward, and she had always thought suicide to be the most cowardly thing a person could ever do. Now, she couldn't be so sure. Was it cowardly to end it all? Ending it all was much better than living in constant pain, wasn't it? She honestly couldn't say. It was a coward's way out, and Alice was no coward, but at the moment, she wanted to be. She wanted to be weak and pathetic, and she wanted to end it all. And she wasn't sure why she didn't.

Maybe it was because of her stubbornness, unbreakable and sturdy, the drive that had kept her alive all these years. Claire had once told her that; that she was too stubborn to die, and she agreed. Five years fighting hordes of undead hadn't killed her, fighting Nemesis, Tyrant, Wesker in all his evil bastard glory and every other shit-fest she had been stuck in the middle of hadn't killed her. Maybe it was stubbornness, and maybe it wasn't.

It could just as easily be contributed to cowardliness. She had pulled a trigger a thousand times. She had planted a bullet in between the eyes of thousands of undead, hundreds of Umbrella lackeys and a good many dozen that she had arrived too late to save. She was no stranger to the feeling of a trigger against her finger, or the feeling of it being pulled. She was no stranger to the way the gun hummed and vibrated in her hand with each shot, making her palm tingle. She was no stranger to death and blood and gore. But could she pull the trigger on herself?

The main reason why she didn't was simple, and made much more sense. Claire. She could live in a world where Claire didn't love her, but she couldn't die knowing that Claire would blame herself. Kmart had undoubtedly made it to the redhead by now, and she had undoubtedly told her everything. If she died now, if she pulled the trigger, Claire would blame herself, and she couldn't let that happen. She _wouldn't_. Claire deserved so much more from her than a body and a lifetime of guilt. She could live in a world where Claire didn't love her, but she couldn't die knowing she would blame herself.

Still, the damage was done. The gun was in her hand, the chamber was fully loaded, and Alice was left with a desire to fire. She wanted to feel the trigger pop against her finger, and she wanted to feel the gun vibrate against her hand. She wanted to feel that humming in her palm, even if the bullet didn't find its home in her skull. She wanted to feel it fire, because at least it was _feeling_.

_This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang but a whimper. _It was. It was the way her world ended. The bang would have been easier; it would have been quicker and better. But all she had was a whimper.

And so, she pointed the weapon at the nearest tree, aiming carefully at its bulk before she pulled the trigger. It popped against her finger, and the pommel vibrated in her hand, and her palm tingled. Just like she remembered. The song of the gunshot rang in her ears, setting her raging mind calm, even if it was just for a moment. The barrel smoked in the slightest, tiny tendrils of white vapors drifting into the atmosphere only to completely disappear in a matter of seconds.

The echo of the gunshot, her beautiful song, faded. But, the sound was replaced with something else. Something she wasn't expecting. The sound of an all-too-familiar voice, calling her name.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you,_

_I wish nothing but the best for you,_

_Don't forget me, I beg,_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead,"_

"Alice! Alice!" The redhead's voice called over and over again, replacing the song of the gunshot with one so much sweeter. Alice didn't wait for that voice to reach her, or the woman for that matter. She stood, not even realizing when she had fallen to her knees, and headed into the darkness, using the shadows to shield her. Just one more look...one more look, and she would sneak away, leave and never look back.

She didn't have to wait long. Soon, Claire came barging into the small clearing, her steps less frantic as exhaustion threatened to claim her. She had every intention of plowing on, until something in the dead center of the clearing caught her eye. A disguarded Smith and Wesson revolver, resting perfectly on a throne of leaves, catching occasional rays of light and reflecting them back into the trees.

_Fuck_. Alice cursed herself for leaving the weapon behind, even as Claire bent to pick it up, reverently. She studied the weapon for only a moment before her eyes began darting around the clearing frantically, looking for the body that she had expected to accompany the handgun. But none was found. No blood spattered the leaf-covered soil, and no signs of flight were noticeable. It meant one of two things. One, which was the option Claire prayed for, was that Alice was still there, nearby. Two, she was already gone, and Claire had, once again, been too late.

But it was then that her spine prickled, and her body flushed. She felt the weight of the woman's gaze, and she knew the first option had been the correct one. She had always been able to feel Alice's eyes on her, even in the desert. It was like a weight on her shoulders, forcing her into a submission she was all-too-willing to give into. She had felt it at the cabin, and she had simply passed it off as being her imagination. She felt it again, but there was no passing it off. She was here, and she was watching.

"Alice...Please..." It was a plea, her eyes casting to the revolver she held in her hand. She knew the blond would know the meaning behind her words, just as Alice knew Claire would feel her eyes.

The redhead's fingers brushed against the scratched and scuffed metal of the barrel, almost as if she could summon Alice just by touching it, like some genie in a bottle. Even as Claire caressed the firearm with reverence, Alice shifted, in the slightest and just as quietly as ever, standing and taking just a few steps forward. She was faced with Claire's back, and she simply stared, noting the sag of the younger woman's shoulders, and her bowed head.

"You should go back." She didn't know why she spoke when she should have remained silent. She didn't know why she stepped forward when she should have snuck away. What she did know was that her body had finally conquered her mind, just at the time when she needed it most.

As soon as the words were spoken, Claire whirled, their eyes locking in an instant. Alice didn't know what she expected when she finally got her first, real look at the woman she loved, but she wasn't expecting tears. Neither knew how long they simply looked, taking in every detail of the other, but soon looking wasn't enough for the redhead. She needed to be close to Alice, needed to be held by her. She had wanted nothing more for eighteen months.

But, just as she took a step forward, Alice held up a hand, stopping her motion immediately. Claire didn't know if it was her own body that kept her from moving, of the force of Alice's mind; all she knew was Alice didn't want her to come closer. She didn't want to feel her arms around her, or her body pressed against her own. Alice didn't want her, and the realization was almost as crushing as thinking Alice was dead.

"You should go back," the now-brunette repeated, her eyes never leaving Claire's.

"Alice..." It was all Claire could say. She knew she should have begged, pleaded, cursed or raged, but she did nothing but speak the woman's name.

"Go, Claire." The sound of her name on Alice's lips nearly stopped the redhead's heart. It was the first time in a year and a half she had heard it spoken by the other woman, and she took a moment to revel in the sheer feeling of it.

"No..." the word was a breathless whisper, even if Claire wanted it to come out as a declaration of denial. She took another step forward, freed from whatever force had been keeping her at bay, and this time Alice didn't stop her. Instead, she took a step back. That rejection stung worst than the first.

"You need to go back." It seemed like it was all Alice could say, and Claire felt frustration set in. She clung to that frustration desperately, because it was so much better than helplessness. "Go back to him." Claire's frustration fell away at the pain in the brunette's voice, and she tried once again to close the distance between them. This time, Alice did nothing but stand her ground. It was certainly progress.

"Alice, no. It's not lik-" but the older woman wasn't having it.

"You did what I asked. You moved on. I...I shouldn't have come. I never should have..." As the brunette whispered the broken words, Claire risked another step forward, but Alice was past the point of caring. She craved the closeness as much as the redhead, and with her mind silent, her body was in control.

"Alice, It's not like that," Claire tried to explain, desperately trying to formulate her thought to words, and failing.

"It doesn't matter, Claire. You did what I asked." It seemed the brunette was going to repeat everything over and over again. "I wanted you to move on. I wanted you to have a normal, functional relationsh-" It was her turn to be cut off.

"He's my brother." The other woman couldn't have been more shocked had Claire clucked like a chicken. She didn't know what to feel...relief, disappointment, complete and utter joy. Everything came crashing down at once, and her body gradually lost the battle too, leaving her no guidance and no strength. Her knees grew weak and they gave in. She didn't have a chance to hit the ground.

Claire dropped the firearm without a second thought and closed the space between them, catching Alice just before the woman hit the ground. They sunk to the soil together, Claire's arms wrapped tightly around the other woman's body, clinging to her desperately. She pulled her lover's limp body as close as physically possible, even as Alice internally struggled with herself, one hand lifting to sooth the smoky brown locks.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you,_

_I wish nothing but the best for you, too,_

_Don't forget me, I beg,_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead,"_

_Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead._

_Her brother. Her brother. _It repeated itself over and over in her head, and the wave of relief that washed over her made her nauseous. She wasn't aware of time or its passage as she struggled within herself, gaining control of her emotions and her actions. She was, however, aware of the arms wrapped around her, the hand stroking her hair, and the sound of the heartbeat within the chest that her head was pillowed against.

_Heartbeat_...as if on cue, her own organ roared to life, beating in sync with the redhead's as it always had. Her heart had always beaten for Claire, and only for Claire. She was dead before she met the redhead; she had died the day she left. Now, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of utter despair, she was born again, baptized in the essence of purity that radiated from the one that clung to her. Both her body and her mind were granted with new life, and she flung her arms up to cling back, pulling herself as close to the redhead as possible. Her reaction seemed to ignite a spark inside the younger woman, because the arms around her tightened even more.

"Breathe, love. Breathe," Claire whispered, the hand stroking her lover's hair calming. Alice didn't know when she broke, but she did. She didn't know how long she cried, or how long Claire held her why she did. All she knew was that Claire was holding her, Claire was with her, and Claire loved her. It was enough. After a lifetime of emptiness, she finally felt whole again, and it had everything to do with the redhead holding her and nothing to do with herself.

"Alice," Claire said softly as the older woman's tears finally stopped, but the other didn't look up. "Alice, baby. Look at me." With a little encouragement in the form an insistent hand lightly placed under her chin, her blue eyes lifted and were drawn like a magnet to the redhead's. The stared at one another for a long moment, each searching the others souls through the visionaries, and each spotting the heartbreak, sorrow and loss there. But, the longer they stared, the more those emotions shifted until all that remained were contentment, happiness and complete and utter love.

Alice shifted in the slightest, not enough to disentangle herself from Claire's arms, but just enough to give her a better vantage point. A single hand lifted, reaching up to cup the redhead's face in her palm, her thumb lightly brushing against her cheekbone. Claire leaned into the touch, her fiery red hair shifting in the slightest to spill over her shoulder. The brunette leaned forward slightly, hesitantly, but Claire's eyes held her own, and she spotted no apprehension in them.

Their gazes remained locked as Alice ever-so-slowly closed the distance between their faces, up until the point where their lips brushed against one another. It was only the slightest amount of contact, but Claire's lips felt so much better than she remembered. She only let the kiss linger for a few seconds before she pulled away, not wanting to push the redhead too fast. They had, after all, just been reunited after many months apart.

Claire, however, had other ideas. She had waited too long to feel Alice in her arms again, and Alice's lips against her own, and the brunette wasn't going to get away with just a brush. Claire needed, _craved _so much more. The fingers that had been so gently stroking the older woman's hair now threaded through the locks, fisting there firmly. Alice pulled away just a bit more, their eyes meeting for just a split second before Claire's incessant hand propelled the brunette forward once again. The kiss was still soft, hesitant, but it was deeper and ore demanding. Their lips worked against one another, each simply reveling in the softness and purity of something they thought they would never experience again.

When they parted, a few moments later, their breaths mingling as their faces still hovered only a few inches apart, Claire spoke. "I like your hair." At this, Alice laughed, genuinely laughed, even if it was softly.

"You've been hanging around Kmart too much," she replied with a soft smile, which the redhead returned with ease. It seemed like it had been so long since either of them had _really _smiled, and it was liberating. They had always saved their best smiled for each other, and it seemed like some things never changed.

"Yeah, well, someone had to keep me company," The redhead teased, leaning forward once again to brush their lips chastely together. Alice, however, didn't return her banter, or her smile.

"Claire, I'm sorry. So sorry. I didn't mean it...any of it," the brunette began, her gaze holding firm with Claire's. Before she could continue, however, a pair of particularly kissable lips once again pressed against her own, silencing her. When they pulled apart, Alice could see nothing but understanding and love reflected in the redhead's face.

"I know," she whispered softly, her lips curling in the slightest. "But if you ever and I mean _ever _leave me again, I'm going to hunt you down and beat the living shit out of you." Alice smiled, but didn't answer, knowing from the amused look in the redhead's eyes that she wasn't done just yet. "And the same thing applies if you call me a swinny little schoolgirl again, too."

"Hey," Alice said in defense, her own eyes sparkling with humor. "You called yourself that."

"Yes," Claire replied with a sultry smile that had Alice's stomach turning in knots. "But you didn't deny it." Alice simply chuckled, even as Claire pulled her forward once again, their lips meeting without a second's hesitation.

**Parting Notes:** OMG THAT WAS SUSPENSFUL FOR ME, AND I WAS THE ONE WRITING IT! So, what did you think! Come on, guys, don't be shy! Love it, hate it, what? Lemme know!


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